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Stephanie Ann Hirsch is the love of my life!I love Stephanie Ann Hirsch Calzaretta. And, best of all, she loves me back!
We've been together since, oh, around January 4th, 2003 at 2:07 PM.
Ms. Hirschy-Bug MARRIED me on June 25, 2005!
Stephanie and I live together in 9 Ashland Street #1 in Somerville. The two of us, together with mutual friends Renate Harrison and Jennifer Mills, bought
a triple-decker house and converted it into condominiums. It was crazy, but it's been such a great experience! And the whole thing was really Stephanie's idea.
She wants all her friends to live together or near each other, like a commune. Stephanie made it all possible, and I love it.
Stephanie sings a lot. It's very contagious. We sing together. Sometimes we make up little songs about our daily lives and sing them. To each other.
All the time. I am fairly certain we do not need to be committed to mental health facilities for this.
Stephanie is very earnest and social and really cares about people. She has gravitated toward
the public sector because that's where the people who need help are. When we started dating she was just leaving a company
she started to keep track of children's services for New York City. She left to become a crime and research analyst at the
Boston Police Department. Now she's the Director of Somerstat for the City of Somerville, dedicated to measuring and
improving city services! Go, Stephanie!
Demerise is our DAUGHTER! Go look!
Shelly is our kitty cat! We have 1,000,000 pictures of her, but I don't have time right now ARRRGH!
Cindy is my little sister, but she's, like, an adult. So she's not so little. Well she's not particularly tall either. Anyway, she's my younger sister.
She used to have a web page, but I can't find it anymore! What happened? Gee, now I have to tell you about her? Umm...
She's into the dramatic arts. Ultimately she wants to work in stage production or teach drama.
She's married to this really great guy, Paul Calvano.
Paul is my brother-in-law. His good qualities include:
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He does computer programmy stuff for a living.
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He puts up with my sister.
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He is a very nice person.
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He serves as my parents' local computer helpdesk, which means I no longer have to fulfill this role whenever I visit them.
My mom passed away on December 2, 2006 at the age of 58.
She was an intelligent, loving, wonderful, awesome mother. I'm so glad that she was able to see me get married, see my sister get married, and meet
her two grandchildren. I will miss her and so will everyone who knew her. There's so much more to say and maybe I'll do it here sometime.
This is my dad. He's likes boats and fishing and all things nautical.
He was named after Ronald Reagan.
Alexis is a bing bing bing bing bing bing bing person. We've
been friends since we both set foot at MIT, and we lived in the same house for two years, Which is cool because she is really bing bing bing bing bing. Now she lives with Assar in a house the two of them bought. Isn't that bing?
Alexis is also a colleague at MIT Information Stuff and Things. She has some cats and lives with a Swede named Assar.
Did I mention she was bing? Bing.
Bing. BING BING BING!!!
Tony Leier is an upstanding gentleman.
He is a bastion of prudence and sensibility. Indeed, he is a veritable bulwark of unflagging morality, impenetrable by baser elements.
His surroundings are inevitably gentrified by his mere presence, as a powerful aura of purity and righteousness radiates from the mighty
nucleus of his untarnished soul.
He is married to his wife, Leah. Tony is part of our little gaming group.
Sean is one of my best (and remaining) friends from Staten Island. He is sick, sick,
sick. We used to draw comics together when we had the time.
Check out his web presence. He doesn't like when things bite him on the ass. Wait, what?
Hani is one of the coolest guys I know. I always have a whale of a good time when
we hang out. He's the Laurel to my Hardy. The Cheech to my Chong. The Irving to
my Vernwood. He and I are like peas in a one giant overripe clichéd pod.
We're like Bezoar and Bolus. He's also a part of our weekly gaming group.
James is a great friend from Staten Island. He's one of the more evil people I know, which
is fine, because it brings out the evil in me. He never lets me take myself too seriously,
and always knows just how to smack me around. He used to be much shorter than me, but now
towers over me, laughing and pointing. He introduced me to They Might Be Giants music
and Dead Milkmen music.
The name is real, and so is she! This red-headed not-so-foul-mouthed human is wed to Tony Leier. See? I've stopped pointing out her previously
prolific penchant toward potty-mouthism. Well, except for that sentence. And maybe the one before that. Uh, yeah.
She's the current Dungeon Master for our little gaming group.
I've known Jen since the first week I arrived at MIT in 1992. She and I shared an apartment with Alexis Ellwood between 2000 and 2002.
And now she and I are both proud members and co-owners of the 9 Ashland Street Commune (er, Condominium Trust)! So we're housemates again!
Woo hoo!
Jen is really busy nowadays, doing, let me see:
- Attending business school at night
- Going to our weekly gaming sessions
- Renovating her condo: painting, installing windows, ceiling, floors, ripping out walls, et cetera.
- Spending time with her boyfriend Serge
- Oh, yeah, working full time at Smith and Nephew.
Tom Chang is my friend, because he told me so. He practically demanded to be listed on my friends page, as if such an award
confers upon its recipient some sort of place of respect in the annals of history. Look, Tom, I'm just a guy with a web
page I get to think about once every six months or so. I'm not some kind of fairy godmother who can bring you fame,
celebrity or stature with a wave of my magic wand. Okay? But if you want to be on my friends page, I can grant you that
wish. I just can't turn you into a real boy. Sorry.
Tom is currently the tenant or roommate or something of Renate Harrison, on the second floor of the 9 Ashland Street Commune.
Maria is one of the few people I know who is as willing as I to converse at length about points of grammar and linguistics. Often, though,
she will then progress on to discussing literature, at which point I become completely lost. Oh well.
Maria teaches International Human Rights at Brandeis University. That means she's wicked pisser smart (pronounced wicked pissah smaht).
Maria is great! I think she's a character, but she says she's a type.
Maria's first name is not pronounced the way you think it is. No, it's not pronounced that other way either.
It kind of rhymes with how a Bostonian would say the word "sorrier" (pronounced sorriyah). Like: "Maury may be sorry, but Maria is sorrier." Accent on the first syllable.
Renate and Stephanie are good friends, and I can see why. Renate is great! She lives upstairs from us on the second floor, and is the owner of Unit 2 of the
9 Ashland Street Condominum Commune.
Because I am very tolerant of other cultures and naturally inquistive, I found out some important facts about Renate:
Renate is Canadian, which means she's from Canadia, my favorite state in the United States. The captial city of Canadia is called
Québec, which is a French word meaning Montréal. Renate grew up in this city, where she attended McGill Univérsity.
McGill is very prestigious and offers majors in both Lumberjackery and L'Hockey. It is often compared to Harvard, which means it
is probably a different school.
Her first name does not rhyme with "abate". It does, however, rhyme with "piñata."
Jagruti "Jag" Patel "Patel" is someone I met when I joined MIT Information Stuff & Things (then called MIT Information Something).
She's really nifty and provides much excellent lunchtime conversation.
She has three cats named Nero, Antony, and Tyler, except that one of those cats might be a husband and not a cat. The vegan one is not a cat, I guess.
I think cats eat meat and tend to be lactose tolerant to the point of begging.
Jag is a really wonderful person and a great friend. For example, she helped me shop for (and get a good deal on) a new car,
which was a big time and effort commitment, especially given the fact that I am a wimp, and car salesmen are— well, car salesmen.
I don't think I ever returned the favor in any meaningful way, so that means I'm in her debt. Or an ingrate. One of the two.
As another example, she cooks some excellent desserts. Okay, that's not really a great example, but it certainly doesn't hurt!