The Fokin Bitch Project
Hi. Here's a comic I drew in late 1999 about me and my two comic-drawing cohorts (James Scotto-Lavino and Sean Lydon) from Staten Island. It's about the three of us going into the woods to investigate the legend of the Fokin Bitch, a woman who has been part of our comics since high school. A brief re-cap of these comics:
- My Horrible Tale of Woe:
- James meets a scary woman on the train. He accidentally says a trigger word: "Ork". This enrages the monster-woman who starts screaming the word "Fokin" over and over. He escapes. When he arrives home, he notices that the horizon is filled with copies of this hideous monster. They converge upon his home, bent on murdering him. He runs away, unable to hurt them with conventional weapons... Until he discovers, accidentally, that if these creatures are prevented (via a duct-tape gag) from saying "Fokin", they turn into piles of sludge and die. He attempts to rid the world of these demons. He is nearly successful, but in the last panel, we see that James is an old man tied to a chair. A Fokin woman is also there in the background.
- My Horrible Tale of Woe 2:
- James tries to remember how he was captured. He flashes back. The last fokin was about to be destroyed when she used a hypnotic stare to put James in a trance. In this trance, James and the Fokin woman are married. She can read his thoughts, even when he is not in a trance. He has spent his life either under mind control or tied to the chair. As an old man, he has finally learned to shield his thoughts with happy ones. She lets him out of the chair and, thinking of bunnies, strangles her to death. He is happy that it is finally over. But in the last panel, he meets a little girl. His fokin grand-daughter.
- My Horrible Tale of Woe 3:
- A bunch of strange nonsense in which a fokin tries to push James in front of a train. James, accompanied by Sean and Joe, yells at her. Suddenly, thousands of Fokins appear. Joe and Sean are lost in the crowd, and James is carried off. James seems to recall this as the first time he was tied to the chair. Of course, this makes no sense.
- My Horrible Tale of Woe 4:
- James remembers his whole life in limerick form. How he had a premonition about the train, the fokins, and being tied to the chair. How MHToW 3 was just a vision. And his whole life flashes before him up until meeting his grand-daughter. He pushes her in front of a train. He is happy that it's over again, and puts a gun up to his head to end it all. But the trigger isn't pulled as the comic ends.
- My Horrible Tale of Woe 5:
- Gomperville, Maryland. Little Jimmy Doe lives with his adoptive parents Jane and John. He is a strange boy and other children fear him instinctively. He has two imaginary friends, Jay and Nikof. Jay tries to make Jimmy do nice things. Nikof tries to make Jimmy do evil things. Nikof gives Jimmy powers to control people's minds. Jimmy is secretly in love with Mindy. Mindy actually likes Jimmy also, but she is dating someone else: Mark. Jimmy uses his mind control on Mindy, but feels bad about it and stops. Mark finds out that Mindy likes freaky Jimmy doe and decides to spread rumors that Jimmy is a demon. Everyone, including Jimmy's parents, believes this. He is run out of town, when Jimmy allows Nikof to take over completely. Nikof reveals the magic word hidden in his name to Jimmy: "Fokin". Jimmy says the word and Jay disappears. Jimmy turns into a male version of the fokin women. Thousands of fokin women appear also. Fokin-Jimmy and clan set out to kill every resident of Gomperville. His parents, everyone. Fokin-Jimmy is moments away from killing Mark when he learns that Mindy actually does love him. Fokin-Jimmy forgets Mark and runs to see Mindy... just in time to witness her death at the hands of a fokin. Jay reappears. He tells Jimmy to put tape over his mouth. Jimmy undergoes horrible pain but when he comes to, he is normal again, albeit covered in sludge. He takes the tape and destroys every last fokin woman he created. He leaves a ghost town in search of his actual parents, to destroy them as well. The only survivor is Mark. James, middle-aged, tied to a chair, sees the news report and recognizes Jimmy as his son, abandoned as an infant by James's fokin-bride because he looked human.
- Marked for Death:
- James, the cartoon artist, is pissed off about Mark living after the end of the last comic and sends a missile through the window of Mark's NYC apartment building. Mark is destroyed instantly.
Finally:
The Fokin Bitch Project
My Horrible Tale of Woe 6
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